Shot To Shit. xo

Hello and welcome to Valentine's Day. 

Meh...

I'm sure it's only  because the flowers/custom jewelry/fragrance/fine chocolate/and other thoughtful and loving gifts I am meant to receive haven't arrived yet, but I'm feeling a bit hungover, uninspired, SLOW MOVING, this morning.

What the, eff?

Normally on Valentines Day, I wake up with a burst of energy, lounge in a warm bath of rose petals and essential oils, have a massage, get my hair and makeup done by Amyface, and spend the rest of the day bossing people around in lingerie, from a bearskin rug, where I open love letters and unexpected gifts from people still in love with me after all these years, and they just keep arriving and arriving...

but today...

I dunno? I feel mellow.

Anyway.

What I like about Valentine's Day is that men spend an average of twice as much as women, and, according to the National Greeting Card Association, (totally joining!), Valentine's Day is the most card sendingest holiday behind Christmas. 

Funny since History.com says, "Valentines Day- and it's patron saint (I am totally suffering from another Patron this morning, by the way. Mine's more a spirit then a saint, however)- is shrouded in mystery." 

"Shrouded in mystery"?

Um? Isn't that just historical speak for, "Wemadedisshitupbitcheswehavebeendoingitforeverandwearestilldoingitnow"?

Whatever though. 

I'm fine with lies and proaganda makes the world go around, so I'm backing it. 

Do something nice and/or loving and/or thoughtful and/or sexy for those you love today. 

And, from me to you, enjoy these delightful Valentine's Day ass shots, from my friends kitchen in Chicago a few years ago.

I LOVE them so much I could marry them.