The Stuff Birthdays Are Made Of

For the first couple of years I lived in LA I had a neighbor, Jason, that completely rocketed me into some 3rd dimension of reckless abandon, platonic love, hot tub party, stay up all night, put nothing past the man, unapologetic fun. In all honesty it's been kind of sad since he left.

His balcony faced my kitchen and he would just walk around naked in his room! He would just stand there and talk to us like, "what?".

At first I thought he was gay, but then I began to see how the ladies would swoon. I totally fell in love with him.

He let me put makeup on him and dress him up and he would always bring me presents from one of his random trips to the other side of the world.

Plus, if he was over everyone else, he would always still be nice to me! Who could ask for more?

Anyway, apparently it was his dirty 30 a few weeks ago, but he only had a party this weekend, so Poncheco and I thought it was this weekend. In a burst of shower time birthday inspiration Kim Beam wrote Jason the best birthday card ever, in the form of a song, in the form the best band EVER, Glitter Pussy.

I feel compelled to share the lyrics, with the hope that they may fill you with even a sliver of the joy they bring me. This is the stuff Birthdays are made of...

"He's a

no snese in livin 'less you're gonna press the limit boy

with his clothing collection and his rick kid plastic toys

its a s-sexy mixer when he's putting on game night

like a childrens cartoon with hidden genitals in plain sight

JAY-BIRD! Jesus Christ!

He'll fly to Japan to see a band that he likes

Jay-Bird! Spartacus!

Your ch-chariot has got the gold plated finish

You fukcing fit us

Happy Birthday

A whole lotta love

from Glitter Pussy...

He's super smart, decadent, and controversial

Livin seize the play, hedonist and existential

And when he's dancin, he's debonair like Fred Astaire

Jump in the line, let's raise a toast to the man!

JAY-BIRD! Jesus Christ!

He'll fly to Japan to see a band that he likes!

JAY-BIRD! Spartacus!

He's not conceited, he's just better then us.

You fucking fit us

Happy Birthday

A whole lotta love

from Glitter Pussy..."